another year gone...

On Monday I said good-bye to my 26th year, and hello to the big 2-7. This is not a milestone, but it gets me one step closer to the age that is. I’m officially now in my late twenties, a status I find means many things. One-I’m now officially “past my prime” and should start making babies immediately. Two-I officially would love to start making babies immediately (joking B...sort of)

Seriously though, as my twenties draw to an end, I think back to how much shit I managed to get done on my pathway to becomingan adult. I met Brian, got my first place, graduated college, worked my first full-time job, did seriousdamage to my liver, moved to L.A., got married, began to watch most of my friends get married, changed my career, spent time confused as to what my new career should be, moved back to Seattle and now...turned 27! Not too shabby and I still have 3 years left!

In a culture obsessed with youth, I’m weirdly turned on by the idea of getting older. I’m excited to begin this next chapter that will contain many new experiences; such as not over-drafting on my checking account each month, a trip to Europe and babies...oh wait, what?

Whatever is in store for me, I like the idea of moving forward, toward something knew. Fingers crossed my reoccurring dream of realizing that I never showed up for 12th grade History class doesn’t come true, and I now I have to redo my senior year of high school. Age ain’t nothing but a number, but I’m pretty stoked to tell people mine. I’m 27 and I currently,(the key word here), don’t live with my parents, not a bad place to be!

So here’s to a new year, if you read the blog I’ll let you know how it goes!

posted by jaime navarro

thao & mirah

this is my charles peterson photo from the evening

Every year we lived in Los Angeles when Jaime’s birthday rolled around we always took a trip home to Seattle.  As a result it was never left up to me to plan a party or buy a cake or even buy and wrap presents.  Usually she would get a couple of small gifts but really the trip home was her present.  This year we were already home and it fell on me to put together some kind of party.

I didn’t know what we should do until about two weeks ago when I noticed that the power duo of Thao & Mirah were playing at the Crocodile in Belltown.

I began following Mirah about two years ago but she’s been around in the Pacific North West for over a decade.  She’s been quite successful for a Northwest act in the post grunge era.  Thao and her band The Get Down Stay Down, I was not familiar with until now.  Her music is similar to Mirah, perhaps a little more on the rock side.  She’s got a unique voice that I couldn’t quite identify until I heard someone compare her to Cat Power.

I bought two tickets and set to invite as many as I could to the show.  I wanted it to be a surprise so I didn’t tell her until we got to the Crocodile.  I was expecting it to be a fun evening with some great music.  I was wrong in the best way possible.

another action shot... the best I could do with a digital elf

The big group I was hoping for fizzled until it was just Jaime’s best friend Eryn (she’ll be happy about the mention) and her boyfriend Ryan, which was perfectly fine since we always have a great time together.  Thao & Mirah were not just great, they were down right amazing.  

I had secretly been listening to their self titled album since it was released at the end of April.  This is a perfect collaboration where Thao brings a more polished and pop beat to Mirahs often lounge/folk lo-fi vocals and guitar.  It is an album that can totally stick in your head and have you singing “oh, oh, how dare you,” all day long.

Seeing them live totally exceeded my expectations and easily made me a die hard fan.  Since I’ve already gushed about their debut album you will understand how incredible when I say, I think that they may be even better live.

This isn’t the kind of music that has you flailing your arms and legs about but is perfect for holding your girlfriend (and there were a lot of girlfriends as easily over 50% of the audience were lesbians) from behind and rocking to the beautiful rhythms and vocals.

I was rather proud of myself for having pulled off such a great surprise for Jaime’s birthday.  When her actual birthday rolled around on Monday I felt like an alien gradually learning about the birthday customs of Earthlings.  I completely forgot that you need birthday cake Jaime and I rushed down to QFC and after studying the cakes for about ten minutes we decided on the fruit flan.

    All in all the evening of the concert and Jaime’s actual birthday went well, but I am positive that we will never forget about her 27th as it was truly a wonderful experience holding her and rocking to Thao & Mirah.

If your interested in looking for more from Thao & Mirah you can find a video of their performance of bag of hammers on our facebook page: face book: secretly important

Also visit their band page at Kill Rock Stars where you can download two of their songs for free.

Lastly check out a great article from bitch magazine giving you five reasons for why you should see them on tour.

posted by: brian snider

ask already

I would love to push these assholes into shark infested waters

I knew what I had to do, it was perhaps the most important part of getting married.  We had a dress, a date, and a place but I still had not dropped down to one knee and asked Jaime to marry me.

I had never pictured myself proposing before, I had no mental image of what I always thought it should look like.  This doesn’t sound romantic but I found that while idea of getting on one knee and professing my undying love for Jaime and then asking her a question I already knew the answer to with a ring she’d already seen... a little embarrassing.

My plan was to really surprise her in the hope that her shock would take the pressure off me and put it back onto her.

I have never been a creative question asker.  I wasn’t the guy in high school with the inventive way of asking a girl out to the dance.  The most creative I ever got was putting roses and a letter on her car.  Who really remembers how you were asked to homecoming when you’re 73?  Who even wants to know how you were asked to homecoming?

Needless to say I was short on ideas and took to carrying the ring in my pocket hoping the right moment would strike and I would ask.  The moment never came and as each day went by and I didn’t ask I could feel Jaime’s frustration mounting.

By the end of April I decided the time was right, I don’t remember the exact day but come hell or high water I would ask.  I had been getting the sense from Jaime that if I didn’t do it soon a major fight would arise, the topic of said fight would certainly concern commitment.

We were going to a show that evening, our friend Molly was performing her show That Girl at the Comedy Central stage on Santa Monica boulevard in West Hollywood. (If your not familiar with Molly Prather, you need to be.)

My plan had been to take Jaime up to the Griffith Observatory and ask her to marry me as the sun set over the ever expanding city of Los Angeles.  I was going to do it before we left for the show however as it crept closer I was running out of time and became afraid that a romantic act like that would be so out of character that she would know what we were going up there to do the whole drive up.  I lost my nerve.

As we left for the theater I was desperately thinking of how I should ask, but I drew a blank.  Jaime on the other hand was becoming visibly frustrated with me, almost as if she’d read my mind, knew my original plan and was angry that I did not follow through. (I have an uncanny ability of knowing exactly how far I can push Jaime and have an even more uncanny ability to ignore my instinct and push her too far.)

If you’ve ever been to “Theater Row” on Santa Monica boulevard then you are aware that it is not considered to be one of LA’s more scenic locations.  It’s a dirty rundown area where the tranny hookers appear like cockroaches at nightfall.

Jaime parked the car and like I had become a puppet  no longer in control of my actions I found myself running around the car and opening her door before she could get out.  I dropped to one knee next to an old cigarette, a syringe, and a used condom and there I professed to her my undying love.

It wasn’t picture worthy, it wasn’t how little girls everywhere imagine it, this was just some schmuck dropping to his knee on a dingy side street.  I’ve often thought about what I would have done if I could do it all over again, if I could ask her anywhere at anytime, and without a doubt I wouldn’t change a thing.  It was done, it was official, it was exactly how I pictured myself doing it.

posted by: brian snider

gleeked

“Don’t Stop Believing”

-Journey

I’ve totally missed the boat on being part of the cultural phenomenon that is Glee. Sure the television show is in its early stages, but those who are total “Glee Hards” have already been formed, and my new found obsession for the show seems even more ridiculous for a person my age. However, in true Glee fashion, I ignore my haters and let my Glee flag fly!

Don’t worry this is not a post to convince anyone that they themselves should watch Glee. I was recommended to watch it many times, and I constantly resisted, until Netflix put it on there instant stream. It was either Glee or watch Eat, Pray, Love ( a book so boring I didn’t want to do any of them).

Finally I caved, and watched the show, which has led me to realize two things; one--when your closer in age to thirty than twenty, squealing like a twelve year old over a high school romance on a t.v. show is not sexy and two -- I really miss being an actress.

Now don’t get ahead of yourself; I don't miss being an actress because I want to convey an important social message about love and acceptance through the medium of television.

No, I miss being an actress because I hate not being good at anything.

I’m like a Glee cautionary tale--child actor, high school star performer, a college graduate in theater with a BFA, who moves to Los Angeles to chase her dream only to realize she won’t “make it.”

The hardest part about me deciding to no longer be an actor has been that my identity was so closely tied to this career choice I have no idea what else I’m good at. I was a good actress, I loved to perform, and I had a place in the world. Like they say on Glee-’being part of something special, makes you special’-and it’s true.

As I continue to take steps toward adulthood, and leave my Glee years behind, more and more I miss the solace of having a singular dream, and thinking it is all you want in the world. I could have become a successful actress, but my dream collided with reality, and the truth was I outgrew it.

I’m totally reading into this t.v. show way more than I should, but I’m in vulnerable place, and I tend to look to imaginary worlds to show me some kind of reality of my own. I’ve found Glee in a time of my life when I rarely feel passion for something as strongly as I did when I was 16.

While Glee may be nothing more than amazing entertainment, the stirring in my loins when I watch it reminds me that I am someone that demands a dream for myself. I have no idea what that dream may be or where it will lead, all I know is that I need to head in some new directions (little glee humor for you fans!)

posted by: jaime navarro

[insert garden pun here]

working really hard

I was at my breaking point, it had been cold and wet and rainy long enough.  Last Saturday was beautiful but I was sick and lost the entire day on the couch.  By Sunday the rain had returned.  For the first time in my adult life I had a back yard of my own and the only one who was able to enjoy it was my dog.

Well, the weather gods blessed us with another beautiful weekend (a chilly weekend for Los Angeles) Sunday I took the full advantage of the day.

i even taught jaime to garden

The morning began with a trip to Garden Sphere in Tacoma, thanks to Groupon who ran a deal: $20 for a $40 gift card.  This was exactly the opportunity I’d been waiting for, to finally stock up on everything in needed for the garden; seeds, starters, and supplies.

chocolate tomato plant with hidden marigold seeds

I’m not well experienced in what gardening stores look like or should look like, but in my opinion Garden Sphere is a great place.  Knowledgable staff, nice selection, perhaps a little pricy but all in all it was a fun experience.  Also they had chickens and baby chicks in the back.

Most of my planters and pots were ready, I needed only to get the starters planted and seeds in the ground.  So here is a list of what I planted.

-cilantro (starter)

-moroccan spearmint (starter)

-sage (starter)

-walla walla onions (starters)

-broccoli (seeds)

-carrots (seeds)

-cucumber (seeds)

-pole beans (seeds)

artichoke and two chinese cabbages

I combined these with what my Guru had given me the previous evening.

-artichoke (starter)

-chinese cabbage (starter)

-chocolate tomato plant (starter)

-more lettuce (starter)

I also bought a few flowers at Garden Sphere, I didn’t choose them for any reason other than I just liked how they looked in the pictures.  I also bought some Marigolds which were to be planted along with the Chocolate tomatoes.  My Guru informed me that planting marigolds will help keep bugs off the tomatoes as they do not have an appealing smell to them.

olive, not working hard at all

The beautiful turned into a fantastic evening. I invited my parents over for dinner, and it stayed warm long enough to sit on the patio and enjoy a barbecued dinner (flank steak, bok choy, and asparagus).  The lights I hung earlier in the afternoon shown like stars as the sun began to set.  I could not have asked for a better day to lift me from my depression and fill me with excitement for what I hope are many more similar days this summer.

posted by: brian snider

don't call it a wedding

Jaime and I have been asked numerous times why we decided to get married.  At first I wasn’t sure how to answer the question, aside from the obvious: love.  It was some months later when Jaime hypothesized that perhaps the driving factor in our decision was the move to Los Angeles.

Just six months earlier we were proclaiming that we wouldn’t be marrying for years and yet here we were jumping right into the water without even checking its depth.  I tend to agree with Jaime, in Seattle life was easy, there were always friends and family nearby and though we lived together it was not uncommon for us to do things separately.  Once we got to LA all that changed.

Nearly every waking moment not spent at work was spent together.  We relied and depended on each other in ways we never had to before.  Whatever the little voice in our heads that was telling us not to get married had in six short months been silenced.

Initially we decided not to announce our engagement until May when we would be talking a trip home to Seattle.  By the next day however Jaime had told all her friends, family, and practically anyone who would listen to her.  I should have known that she couldn’t keep a secret.  This is the girl who has to do birthday shopping last minute because if she doesn’t the temptation to give the gifts early is too great.

I resisted that temptation, not only because it felt tacky to tell people over the phone. (See daily observation #002) but because I wasn’t sure how my parents would take the news.  They are practical people and with the economy teetering on the edge of implosion, our unsteady employment situation, and the financial commitment a wedding poses, I expected them to be less than thrilled.

To combat any potential negative reaction they might have, I decided to have as much of the wedding planned as possible before we told them.  This way we could go to them with an actual cost analysis and prove to them that in fact it was feasible.  I won’t lie however, at the time even I didn’t think a wedding was feasible.

The two biggest expenses were the Wedding Venue (and all the charges that accrues) and Jaime’s dress.  Almost immediately she began searching for the dress.

We weren’t having a traditional wedding, so I helped her choose the dress or at least the style online.  I did what to be surprised on the day of the wedding and not see her in it till then.  I don’t remember exactly how many weeks she searched but it didn’t seem like many before she headed out on a Saturday afternoon with Annika to do some dress shopping in person.

A few hours later I got a call saying that she’d found the dress.  She bought it and that was that, check dress off the list.  Now to find a venue for the ceremony and reception.

The wedding was to be held in Seattle, this is where our search began.  It became apparent immediately that our initial plans of holding the reception in my parents back yard would not work.  Early liberal estimates had the guest list at well over one hundred, even if we managed to cut that down as low as eighty it would still be maxing out available space.  So we began to search for other options.

The first lesson we learned (if you’re planning on holding your own wedding write this down and remember it) don’t call it a wedding.  As soon as you say that magic word the price of just about everything doubles or even triples.  Say “these flowers are for a party. We’ll be throwing a party.  This is a birthday cake.”

The next lesson we learned is that while it is entirely possible to find an affordable space for the reception, they force you to use their catering service which is severely overpriced and often, less than stellar food.

We’d called over a dozen places and didn’t even have anything on a short list.  We couldn’t afford any of them.  In a moment of desperation we called Cornish, our alma mater hoping to use Raisebeck theater, but even they turned us down.

By the way, did you know that in order to throw a party at a state park you have to pay.  $200 per hour, even if you’re only going to be there ten minutes it’s still $200.  Even what seemed like the cheapest option wasn’t even cheap.

The last place Jaime called was Ivar’s Salmon house (the nice restaurant at the north end of Lake Union not their fast food stand).  It seemed like a long shot but we loved the restaurant, it provided a wonderful view of the city right on the water, and boasted a beautifully remodeled banquet room.

As it turns out there was no deposit required for the room, the only requirement was that you spent at least $1500 on their delicious food.  For no fewer than seventy people this would not be a problem.

Here we were, a month into our engagement, we had a date, a dress, and a venue.  Though I’d still yet to present.  Jaime with her ring and ask the most important question of all. 

posted by: brian snider

your parents house

picture of me now, sailing my boat

Parents serve many purposes in your life.  They give birth to you, they raise you, they feed, clothe, and shelter you.  Hopefully they even provide support for you monetarily and emotionally.  (I suppose they do this because the law requires that they do these things, but also because you are their flesh and blood and someday most likely they will find themselves needing to be taken care of themselves and you will have to provide that.)  In your early to mid twenties you move out from underneath their umbrella of protection and begin a life of your own.  Then when you reach your late 20’s you somehow find yourself living in your parents house once again.

This wasn’t my dream, I don’t imagine that it’s anyones dream, yet it happens.  In November when Jaime and I moved from Los Angeles to Seattle we settled into the downstairs living area of my parents house.  At the time I felt like a failure having lived on my own for six years three of them all on our own in a foreign city.  There had been more than a few times in those years when it felt like everything we’d worked so hard at was about to crumble, yet we always managed to come through it intact.  This time however we had failed and it was all but necessary to take my parents up on their offer.

Since November four sets of my friends have found themselves in a similar situation.  This was not because we love our parents house so much, but because we were in need of a reboot.  We had all moved to other cities, took risks, had new experiences and in the end in order to return to, not our old life but another new life, we needed the support of our parents once again.

It can feel embarrassing to load all your possessions into their house.  This can feel even more embarrassing if you’re a couple and even more so if you’re a married couple.  I had been in a similar situation with Jaime eight years before and I couldn’t help being depressed that we had taken more than a few gigantic steps backwards.

Had I been fooling myself these past few years?  I thought that I was well equipped enough in life not to need to come crawling back to them.  I thought I was an adult but at 27 it turned out that really I was still a child.

Moving home could have gone two ways; the first was to become motivated to move out by getting a job immediately and saving up as much as possible.  I expected to be moved out by Christmas and not be freeloaders in a spare bedroom but able to pay for things ourselves and contribute to the family.  The second was to revert into adolescence.  This is where I expected that I would depend on my parents completely and quite possibly not move out until February.  I feel into that second path.

My parents seemed to enjoy having us home, we’d been away for three years and in that time all their children had moved away as well.  Their enjoyment in having us back aided my transition into adult adolescence.  I didn’t have to cook for myself, didn’t have to do my own laundry, or go grocery shopping.  I was living rent free and had no responsibilities.

It was not quite as I expected things would go.  I got a job by Thanksgiving and in early December Jaime and I found a house very close to my parents.  Due of a series of reasons we still didn’t end up moving out until mid January.  Like a Harry Potter charm, I was unable to see that I was under a spell until I had moved out and was on my own again.  It was at this moment I understood the traps and convenience of being allowed to return to your parents house.

I suspect my reaction was not typical.  In seeing just how many of my friends were finding themselves in the same situation I was relieved but anticipated that reverting into that adolescent state as I did is just either not possible or not an option for others.  I imagine that what most feel is thankful for being allowed to return but immense pressure to get back out into the real world and be an adult again.

It seems to me that this might be a trend of late twenty somethings who need to right their ship and in order to do so they return home to the helping hands of their parents in the hopes that together you can get upright and sailing again.

To all my friends out there navigating this predicament, once you get through the choppy waters, it’s smooth sailing ahead.
posted by: brian snider

not easy getting green

infant basil

This would be a great title for a blog about money, I’ve decided to waste it on a post about my garden.  The picture at the top of the blog is the beginnings of a basil plant, the seeds were planted the day I posted how does your garden grow?

My first foray into growing herbs from seeds was an absolute failure.  I planted basil, rosemary, and chives.  For weeks the pots sat empty, just these barren dirt wastelands.  I was so perplexed by the lack of growth that I left the empty pots outside for months just incase they were taking an especially long time to grow.

I thought I’d done everything properly, I tended to them daily, supplied them with plenty of water and copious amounts of LA sun.  In the end the seeds yielded nothing and I eventually used the dirt in the pots for a lemon tree which never grew any lemons.

As I planted these basil seeds I was filled with skepticism and expected that after a month without so much as a sprout I would go to the PCC and buy those basil starters I’d seen in the produce section.  I would quietly pant them and let people believe that I’d grown them myself.

You can see there was no need, amazingly the seeds have sprouted and now I have what hopefully will be a beautiful basil plant.  Of course that all hinges on me not murdering these fragile sprouts in their most formative years.

three kinds of lettuce I planted.

Concerning the rest of my garden; I’ve  managed to plant some starter strawberries supplied by my guru, as well as rosemary, and chives which are currently growing like green hair from an elephant shaped planter.  On what might have been the sunniest day we’ve had all year I panted three varieties of lettuce in one of the long planter boxes.  Despite my minor success with the basil I remain skeptical about the possibilities of the lettuce ending up in a summer salad and even more skeptical that that salad will include carrots, radishes or any of the other vegetables I plan on planting.

I still have much to do in my tiny garden, but as long as the dozens of other distractions don’t tear me away, I expect to finish planting everything by the weekend, and begin to wait.  Waiting for the green.
posted by brian snider

let's get engaged

let's get engaged....sure.

Jaime and I have talked endlessly about how best to tell the story of our engagement and subsequent marriage.  This included an ill fated performance at IO West theater in Los Angeles.  Much of the following blogs involving the year of our engagement are drawn from that performance and our discussions.

As if our first year in a new city wasn’t hard enough; as if money wasn’t tight enough, as if everyday life wasn’t taking enough out of us, Jaime and I decided to make our like even harder by getting engaged.

How did this whole thing begin?  As best as I can remember it was the middle of April on a beautiful warm day.  Both Jaime and I were off work early and we had an afternoon to burn, without much money we decided to stay in and...well do what you sometimes do when you’re at home and have no money.  Afterwards we found ourselves laying in bed together, I can remember looking out the window and watching the bird fly up and land on the roof.  Somehow and even now I cannot fully remember Jaime brought up the topic of marriage.

The previous October we attended my brothers wedding and when people 

would turn to us and ask when we would be getting married we laughed.  

Half jokingly we told them that when all our friends were divorced we 

would get married.

Truth be told I only entered this conversation with Jaime because I could sense that to attempt to blow off marriage talk would only instigate a fight and I was far too exposed and relaxed for a fight.  I humored her, we talked about who we would invite, family and close friends only, where we would do it, at my mom’s house with a pot luck dinner.  We decided when, mid May of 2009 perhaps the 16th.

I imagine that this is where female readers will close their eyes and slowly shake their head from side to side wondering exactly how men can be so oblivious.  I understood that we were getting married but what I took away from the conversation was that this would happen somewhere in the future like buying a new car or going to Europe.  That date we set was loose and not set in stone.

We went the rest of the night without discussing the wedding and Jaime did not rush to tell anyone, the following morning was the same and I was almost able to forget about the entire thing.  On her way home from work that evening I learned how wrong I was, she had spent the entire morning looking at engagement rings and had told everyone at work that she was engaged.

“Look,” I said “I don’t want every conversation to be about weddings now.”  As soon as I said it I wished that I could take it back.  

An argument ensued and it nearly ended in a break up.  We discussed things further that evening and I began to understand that our conversation the afternoon before had not been a bunch of loose ideas and dreams, it was for real and I was acting like a total asshole.  We talked not about wedding plans but rather about why it was that I didn’t want to get married.

I didn’t have a good answer, the best I could come up with was that I wanted to wait until I had the money to throw a big lavish wedding.  I didn’t really want that, I believed that expensive weddings were a waste of money.  Sure you had memories and memories are important but it is just a day and with the money saved you could do so much more.  What I think my real fear was, was telling my parents.  In our situation and at a time when everyone was warning of a second depression it did not seem to make much sense to be getting married and I really didn’t want to have to justify our decision.

I had some time to think about what I wanted to do, by the next day it was clear to me that I had no reason not to marry Jaime.  I loved her, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and that was reason enough.  I called her that afternoon and told her that when she picked me up from work that we would head out to the Glendale Mall and go to Zales to buy her engagement ring.

Through out the entire process of getting engaged and eventually married we did very little conventionally.  Picking out the ring was far from conventional, she’d seen it on their website and loved it.  Unable to afford anything expensive it was to our benefit that technically this was a promise ring and priced at less than $120.  Jaime pointed it out to me in the case, she tried it on and then I insisted that she leave while I purchased it.  I didn’t let her wear it out of the store, it went into the box and sat in my dresser drawer.

We were technically engaged, preparing and planning for a mid May wedding.  There were dresses to buy, invitations to send out, parents to tell.  I was also holding onto a ring and I knew that at some point I would need to get down on one knee and ask her to marry me.  I didn’t know when or where or how I was going to do it but I did know that I was going to make her sweat about it a little.

giving and receiving

check this record out you won't regret it

    I haven't had a new favorite band in quite some time, well really since Nirvana.  So it's been about eighteen years since there was a band in my life that had me impatiently waiting for their next album release.  It's been an equally long amount of time since I found a band so enjoyable to listen to an entire album from start to finish in one sitting as a pure singular experience for just enjoying.

LAKE was born (like so many bands on the k-records label) along the I-5 corridor but known mostly as an Olympia band.  Though I would not say that it is glaringly obvious there is no mistaking that their sound is a product of the region.  To date they have four records easily available on Amazon.com and itunes.  Their most recent release Giving and Receiving was released on Tuesday by k-records and was well worth the wait.

I am not a record reviewer and have nothing similar that would even qualify me as such, in writing this post I wanted only to share an incredible band and an incredible record with my fellow internauts.
I don't know if this is the right term to use but it seems to fit, LAKE is indie pop at its absolute best.  Not intending to turn anyone off if you either love or loathe, but picture them as what the Mamas and the Papas would have sounded like if they were from Olympia.

Giving and Receiving does not quite live up to their first K release Oh, the places we'll go but it is unquestionably better than anything else I've heard in the last eighteen years.  Hip swinging bass lines, simple and soft guitar riffs, subtle brass that fades in and out, foot tapping drum beats, and an omnipresent keyboard that swirls from 80's electronic synthesizer to an early 70's jazz organ to piano.  Their lyrics are soft and beautiful, the album is split between male and female voices occasionally both together.

The sounds form less of an urban sound scape than that of something natural, it belongs in the wilderness.  This is probably why they so strongly remind me of my second apartment in Los Angeles, warm summer evenings in Griffith park with my wife and dog.  If I was to create a camping playlist this would be it.

    I can't urge you strongly enough to check them out.  Their easy to find on itunes and amazon there are two spectacular songs available for free download at rcrdlbl.com.  If you find that you love them as much as I do then you may want to see them live, they are currently touring for the release of Giving and Receiving and if you live in the Seattle area they will be performing at the Tractor Tavern in Ballard on May 15th.  I'll be there for what is sure to be a truly memorable experience.

everyone wants to know

this was how i got to work in los angeles

Everyone wants to know, they ask with such incredulity that I might have just told them that I ride a dinosaur to work.  “Why would you move from California to Seattle?”  There are so many answers that I choose one.  “We’re from Seattle.”  This only confuses them further because then they want to know, “You mean you lived in Seattle before, then you moved to California, then decided to move back here?”  I get what they’re saying, to them it just doesn’t make sense that having lived in Seattle, then California that I would choose to move back.

Sometimes I take it a step further.  “We lived in Los Angeles.”  I will say, and those who have spent a significant amount of time there understand everyone else does not.  At this point I usually stop because they will either be people who don’t understand why anyone would leave Los Angeles or can’t understand and nothing that I can say will change their mind.

It’s been six months since the move and every time I show my ID’s or change an address we have to answer this question.  Every time I answer it I mentally list all the reasons why we left.

Reasons for leaving;

-traffic

-self centered people

-distance from home

-career changes

-constant sunny weather

-smog

-loneliness

-expensive... everything

I am surprised that by the time I get to this part of the list I stop thinking about all the things that drove me crazy and start thinking about all the things I loved and miss.  I begin to get confused, why did I leave Los Angeles?

I’ve mentioned in the blog before how when we were in LA I longed for Seattle and took joy in the things that connected me to this wonderful city.  My Seattle Mariners license plate was a badge of honor that I displayed with pride.  I simply wanted to be reminded of the city I left at twenty four, for the lonely, smoggy, self-centered urban war zone of Los Angeles.

Now in Seattle I take an equal amount of pride in my California license plate, my Intelligentsia coffee mug embossed with the bear flag, and I watch television shows and listen to music that remind me of the places I spent my mid twenties.

Am I destined to long to be living somewhere other than where I currently am?  Or can I not as the Ram Dass professes Be Here Now?  I remember back to May of 2010, Jaime and I were finally going on our honeymoon to Maui.  Because airline tickets were cheaper from Seattle to Maui than from LA, we decided to drive home and spend an extra week then fly to Maui from there.

In all our previous trips out of LA, just before we left I began to identify on a communal level with everything around me.  As much as I tried to reject the city I had slipped right into her consciousness without realizing it.  To my utter disbelief I began to miss the city.  When we would return I was stunned to find that I felt like I had returned home.  It wasn’t my real home, but I began to feel more comfortable in Los Angeles than Seattle.

In departing for our honeymoon I didn’t feel any of that, I wanted to get out of LA county as fast as possible, leave nothing but a trail of dust settling behind me.  In Maui, like so many before me, I didn’t want to leave.  Yes I wanted to stay there because it was such a freeing place with immeasurable beauty and life, but also because I knew that once we left that island we would have to return to LA.  Over and over I imagined leaving everything we owned there and never going back, making a new life anywhere else.

On our return trip home our car got stuck in a freak snow storm and we spent the night in a hotel at Mt. Shasta City.  I had been planning on driving straight through but this snowstorm halted all that, in the hotel room I felt relieved to not have to return to LA for one more night.  I no longer felt like I belonged there, it wasn’t welcoming.  I hated my job, Jaime hated her job, our best friends had moved to Brooklyn while we were away and our other friends would be leaving in the next year as well.  Things felt empty.

Not long after we returned I concluded that I was ready to leave Los Angeles.  I didn’t need to pack up immediately (our lease wasn’t up until November).  In my heart I knew that when Jaime finally came to me and suggested that we should move home, I would not disagree.  I didn’t have to wait long, by June Jaime was no longer interested in becoming a Hollywood actor and in August we began talking about moving.  By the end of August we had a location and date; Seattle, October 31st.

I suppose I don’t really have an answer for those who ask why I would leave LA.  I could tell them that it’s not really the paradise that it seems so many imagine.  I could tell them the horror stories about what it is like to fall on hard times in a foreign place where the city is virtually made up of only rich or poor.

On the other hand it has many redeeming qualities.  Six months later I miss the consistent warm weather, the beautiful Summer evenings, walking with Jaime and our dog Olive in Griffith park, I miss Los Feliz and Silverlake, I miss the feeling of being in the middle of all the hustle of Hollywood, I miss all the little surprises that a city like LA has waiting around every corner.  

What it really comes down to however is the fact that I don’t believe that you should live in a city when you don’t want to be there.  We are free creatures who have the choice to live and be wherever we want, there may be factors that draw you to specific places but the choice is still yours.  I remind myself constantly that what is possessing me is not genuine love for LA but rather a nostalgic memory of the best times I had there and the feeling of being somewhere other than where I am.  I believe I will return many times in my life and I will be able to visit all the places I love and I won’t be hampered by the reality of living there.  In the end I would rather be miserable in Seattle than miserable in Los Angeles.

how does your garden grow?

not much now, i do plan on expanding

I’m fairly confident that no one has ever looked at me and got the impression that I was much of if at all, a gardener.  I’ve killed more plants in my life than I’ve kept alive.  A small pine sapling, a rosemary bush, two basil plants, a whole planter box of dill, english mint, sage, and lastly a lemon tree which despite constant blooming, after three years it never grew any fruit.  I don’t believe in green or black thumbs, but I definitely don’t have a green one for sure.  My one and only achievement in growing was a chestnut tree I accidentally planted in my mom’s back yard and which is now fifteen feet tall.  Needless to say, if plants were children, I would be in jail.

Just over a year ago Jaime and I made a drastic life decision, we would begin to buy locally grown organic produce only, local grass fed beef, pork, chicken and eggs, as well as wild caught fish only (no farmed fish).  In turn we cut out most processed foods.  I resisted this initially dreading the loss of my beloved Dr. Pepper and cheap Costco bacon.

In Los Angeles this lifestyle was really quite easy, due to their warm climate, a cornucopia of fruits and vegetables are available at the farmers markets year round.  We were also rather lucky that just three short blocks from our apartment was McCalls Meat (I demand that anyone who lives in LA who eats meat go there) where we were able to buy locally raised and grass fed meats.

I knew moving to Seattle that the conveniences we had previously enjoyed in LA would not be so easy.  I wan’t prepared for just how hard it really would be.  Washington winters are cold and wet, the farms must endure frozen soil and flooding on a weekly basis.  This drastically reduces the availability of fruits and vegetables, about all you could find consistently were; squash, brussels sprouts, carrots, some leafy greens but not much beyond that.

We also found it very difficult to find a nearby supply of meat.  There was some meat available at the market but the best local meat company required an hour long drive north.

We are now renting a house in Bellevue which had a substantial back yard.  Lamenting the convenience of LA I decided to make my life even harder by attempting to grow my own garden.

My gardening guru is my mother who has kept a fantastic looking yard for years.  Her breadth of knowledge concerning vegetables and when to plant them is immense.  Inspired by Michael Pollan’s Omnivores Dilemma, I will be reporting on the progress here in my blog.  While some of what I am planning on planting I will be consuming throughout the summer, I also plan on having a feast towards the end of the growing season utilizing the fruits of my spring and summer labors.

My first set back occurred two weeks ago when my garden guru informed me that the patch of dirt I had been hoping to use for the garden would not work because of the lack of sunlight.  Instead I will be using a network of long rectangular planter boxes, which while they won’t look as pretty or natural as a conventional garden, will provide me the ability to move my garden should I so desire.

I will be planting (and with some luck growing)

carrots

tomatoes (not from the seed but from on offshoot)

lettuce

strawberries

greenbeans

green onions

onions

peas

radishes

cucumber

asparagus

Additionally I will be growing; rosemary, basil, mint, sage, and chives.

I know that these are lofty goals for someone who has never eaten something that they grew and nurtured themselves.  I am determined to grow as much of my own food as possible.  With my guru at my side I will hopefully have a crop of vegetables with a Summer’s end feast for my friends and family to enjoy food grown in my own back yard.